The start of kindergarten is an exciting time, but it can also be an emotional rollercoaster. Not only for you, for your child too! This period marks a significant transition in your little one’s life, and it’s completely normal for them to experience a wide range of emotions—from excitement and curiosity to anxiety and frustration. And sometimes a swirl of big feelings that don’t have a name or make any sense at all. Understanding these emotions and knowing how to respond can make all the difference in helping your child feel secure and supported as you both navigate this season of life.
Why is My Kindergartener So Emotional?
As a parent, you might notice that your kindergartener’s emotions seem to be all over the place. And it lasts more than just the first few days. It may last weeks. While you expected the tears on the first day, it is week two, three or four and the emotional roller coaster rides on. One moment they’re thrilled about their new adventure, and the next, they are having a toddler-era meltdown over a broken banana or corn in their burrito. While common we have a few tips to help level out these climbs and dips and find a smoother ride forward.
Children at this age are still very much learning to regulate their emotions. While the behaviors feel new and like a step back in their development that likely isn’t the case. The newness of kindergarten can be overwhelming for a child who has been used to the familiarity of home or preschool. Suddenly, they are faced with new faces, new rules, and new expectations, which can trigger a range of emotions.
Children in this age group are also developing their social and cognitive skills rapidly, which means they are more aware of their surroundings and more sensitive to changes. They might not yet have the vocabulary or emotional regulation skills to express what they’re feeling, leading to outbursts or mood swings.
The start of kindergarten can bring up a lot of “big feelings” in those little bodies. They may feel excited about their new independence but also anxious about being away from their parents and familiar routines. It’s essential to recognize these feelings as a natural part of your child’s development and to approach them with empathy and patience. More cuddles, more possitive attention and lots of deep breaths is the first step forward.
How Long Does It Take for a Child to Adjust to Kindergarten?
Every child is different, and while some may settle into their new routine within a few days, others may take several weeks or even months to fully adjust. This adjustment period can be influenced by a variety of factors, including your child’s temperament, previous experiences with separation, and the overall environment at their new school.
While some children may take a few weeks to adjust, while others might need a few months. It’s important to be patient and provide consistent support during this transition period. This means being available to listen to your child’s concerns, offering comfort and reassurance, and maintaining open communication with their teachers to monitor progress.
To help your child adjust, try to keep routines at home as consistent as possible. A stable routine provides a sense of security and helps your child know what to expect, which can reduce anxiety. You might also consider creating a “goodbye ritual” for drop-offs, such as a special handshake or a hug, to help ease the separation each morning.
It’s also important to remember that regressions can happen. Your child might initially seem to adjust well, only to experience a setback a few weeks later. We often think of growth as a linear progression but as humans our growth is messy and sometimes takes a few loops and circles along the path
What Are Some Coping Skills for Big Emotions?
So this is all well and good, but how do we actually support your kindergarten to navigate these emotions? Developing coping skills is crucial for helping your child manage the “big emotions” that often accompany kindergarten and life stages to come next. These skills not only help them navigate their new environment but also lay the foundation for emotional resilience later in life.
It doesn’t just happen naturally for most kids, we have to teach and practice these skills over time to strengthen their ability to utilize them when they are feeling big feelings.
Deep Breathing
The American Psychological Association suggests starting with simple easily mastered techniques around deep breathing You can teach your child to take slow, deep breaths when they feel overwhelmed. This helps to calm their nervous system and gives them a moment to process their emotions before reacting.
Visualizations are often the most helpful for this. A few of our favorites with young children are:
- Balloon Breathing: Have your child sit or stand in a comfortable position and tell them they are going to imagine they are blowing up a balloon. Encourage them to take a big, slow breath through their nose with their hands cupped next to their mouth. Then slowly breathe out and widen their hands as if they are filling up an imaginary balloon resting between their hands.
- Candle Breathing: Have your child imagine there are a row of candles in front of them, take a big breath in and then one at a time blow out each of the candles. For young children choose how many candles they will have at their next birthday. Each time they practice remind them to blow gently and slowly so they don’t blow too much wax around the room.
- Snake Breaths: Have your child take a long slow breath in through their nose and exhale that breath back out through their mouth making a hissing sound. As they practice encourage them to make their hiss slow and last longer than the breath in. When they are ready count the seconds of their breath in and out to help them understand the rhythm of their breathing so they can over time slow it down.
Name Those Feelings
Another valuable tool is helping your child label their emotions. For instance, you might say, “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because you didn’t get to be first in line today. It’s okay to feel that way. Let’s talk about what we can do next time.” By giving their feelings a name, you help your child understand and manage them better. Giving feelings acknowledgement is not the same as accepting inappropriate behaviors. Drawing distinctions between feelings and behaviors is important for helping them within this journey.
Role-playing different scenarios can also be highly effective. This might involve acting out what to do if they feel sad because they miss you during the day or how to ask for help if they’re feeling lost or confused. Role-playing gives your child a chance to practice responses in a safe and supportive environment, so they feel more prepared when similar situations arise in real life.
Creating Calming Spaces
Additionally, consider creating a “calm down corner” at home, where your child can go when they need a moment to regroup. Or revisiting an updating a previous calm-down space in your home now that they are growing and their needs are changing or if establishing a whole new space may be helpful for this chapter of development. This space could include favorite books, soft toys, or calming activities like drawing or playing with sensory objects. Having a designated spot to relax and reset can help your child learn to manage their emotions independently.
Spend Time Outside in Nature
Creating nature-inspired spaces where your kids can decompress and burn energy in fresh air is a huge balance to structured indoor school. Spending time outside can provide a soothing contrast to the often rigid structure of school days, allowing your child to explore, play, and unwind in a natural setting.
Read Together
The foundations of language and literacy skills are jumpstarted by being read to and chatting about life. Read a mix of books that are about people and places, history and magical adventures, fact and fiction. While a wide range of new books are great, there is also a lot of value in reading favorite books over and over. Reading together not only strengthens your child’s language skills but also creates cherished bonding moments.
Chat and Tell Stories
Ask about their day, tell them about yours. Back-and-forth conversation skills are HUGE for social and language development. Point out and describe the world around you. These simple interactions build your child’s communication skills and help them make sense of their experiences.
Draw and Color
This builds fine motor skills needed for writing, typing, using scissors, tying shoes… and so many future school success skills. Encouraging your child to draw and color helps them develop dexterity and control. These skills will be builidng blocks for more coordinated skill development later on.
Cook and Bake
There is so much magic that happens when you get kids in the kitchen with you. And mess BUT it’s worth the long-term outcomes of building their confidence, their independence, and their ability to prepare and feed themselves. Cooking together teaches your child valuable life skills while also providing an opportunity for fun, hands-on learning.
How Marley & Moose Can Help
At Marley & Moose, we understand that the start of kindergarten is a big deal—not just for your child, but for you as well. We have been there three times now and have one more round ahead of us! We’re here to support you every step of the way with products designed to provide comfort and security during this transition. Our selection of soft toys, cozy blankets, and storybooks can become part of your child’s coping toolkit, offering them a sense of familiarity and reassurance in their new environment.
One of our favorite picks for this time of year is our collection of bedtime stories that focus on emotions and coping skills. Reading together is not only a wonderful bonding activity but also a great way to reinforce the coping strategies your child is learning. Plus, our soft, cuddly toys can offer that extra bit of comfort when your child needs it most—whether they’re starting a new day at school or winding down at bedtime.
We also offer a range of clothing and accessories that can help make your child feel more confident and comfortable during this transition. From cozy cardigans that provide warmth and security to backpacks offering the most comfort, these small touches can make a big difference in how your child feels about starting kindergarten.
Final Thoughts
Starting kindergarten is a significant milestone that comes with its own set of challenges and emotions. By understanding your child’s feelings, offering consistent support, and equipping them with the right coping skills, you can help make this transition smoother and more positive for both of you.
Remember, it’s okay if your child takes time to adjust or if they experience a few bumps along the way. With patience, empathy, and the right tools, your child will not only adapt to their new environment but thrive in it.
For more tips and resources, be sure to check out our full range of products at Marley & Moose, and don’t forget to explore our blog for more mom-to-mom advice on supporting your child through life’s big transitions.
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